Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice' isn't the superhero movie your kids deserve

Look! Up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No -- and it's not Superman either.
"Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice" sees the classic DC Comics characters meet on the big screen for the first time, but they're such dark versions of the beloved superheroes that they're barely super or heroes.
There's a lot riding on this movie, which is meant to lay the foundation for DC's answer to the wildly successful Marvel cinematic universe. Under the singular but divisive vision of director Zack Snyder, "BvS: DoJ" is an extreme and very grown-up vision of the DC universe. It's a barely comprehensible, overstuffed, overly loud, unrelentingly bleak hot mess. But I also think I loved it.
"Dawn of Justice" picks up just before the end of "Man of Steel", in which Superman was drawn into a super scrap that toppled half of the city of Metropolis. Amid the devastation is uber-wealthy Bruce Wayne, who decides Superman is too powerful to trust and sets out on a quest to take the alien down.
In his first outing as Batman, Ben Affleck is great as a jaded salt-and-pepper dark knight tortured by his misguided obsession with Superman. Another new face is Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman, who...well, actually "Dawn of Justice" doesn't tell us who she is, what she cares about, or indeed anything beyond the fact she looks nice in a posh frock.
In the villain stakes, Jesse Eisenberg's jittery Lex Luthor is fun to watch, his entitled Silicon Valley nerd a Zucker punch of a reinvention . But again, it's never that clear who he really is or why he does what he does.
There isn't a lot of time for character because the film has so much other business to get through. It must set up the "Suicide Squad" and "Justice League" movies, which means there are parts of the film that might make sense in a couple of years (alongside plenty of scenes that may never make sense).
It also pointedly addresses criticism of previous movies, from the disaster porn of "Man of Steel" to Christian Bale's funny Bat-voice in the "Dark Knight" films.
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